LINGUIST List 14.1092

Sat Apr 12 2003

All: The Saturday MaLingua: Only $9,400.53 to go

Editor for this issue: Richard John Harvey <>


  1. linguist, Moderators only need $9,400.43 to make a Retaliation Takeover bid
  2. linguist, Restaurant Review: The MaLingua Midnight Cafe
  3. linguist, The Linguists' Place is in the Kitchen - MaLingua Exclusive Interview
  4. linguist, How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

Message 1: Moderators only need $9,400.43 to make a Retaliation Takeover bid

Date: 13 Apr 2003 01:52:43 -0000
From: linguist <>
Subject: Moderators only need $9,400.43 to make a Retaliation Takeover bid

		*** MaLingua 2003 ***
		 12th April 2003

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:

Moderators only need $9,400.43 to make a Retaliation Takeover bid


In another exclusive story, MaLingua can reveal that things are not as
bad as they originally seemed a few days ago. The moderators of the
now taken over LINGUIST List have done surprisingly well in generating
the support that they need to overcome the mighty power of the Food is
Very Profitable Network (FVPN) and recapture the List and remove
LINGUIST Cook Online for good.

As we reported in yesterday's MaLingua, the moderators need $50,000 to
ensure the return of the academic stalwart The LINGUIST List to its
rightful place and guarantee its smooth running. So far they have
secured the help from 965 donors to raise a staggering $40,599.57 -
but they still need another $9,400.43 to topple the target.

The LINGUIST List Head of Legal Matters James Yuells told us "It's a
bit of a shame that we only have less than a thousand
supporters. LINGUIST List had over 17,000 subscribers. Just think if
they all gave $5 we would raise over $85,000 - We only need $50,000 to
get these nasty commercialites out of LINGUIST for good."

Yuells then went on to read a press release from the moderators which
detailed their plans for improving the site once they regain
control. It is believed that this policy of openness is not only
intended to encourage supporters to help the cause, but also to scare
the opposition, who are currently trying fight off the reports of
underhand share dealing. It was announced that LINGUIST List Loyals
have secured the services of a new super-cat to replace Percival, who
turned out to be P.C. Ival, head of FVPN. Despite his portly build and
his lack of alacrity, it is hoped than Vincent the Fat Cat will pull
through for the moderators and be as creative as Percival was.

The moderators also promised to remove the nasty and annoying pop-ups
that have appeared all over the site since LINGUIST Cook Online took
over. "We hate them!" said a disgruntled ex LINGUIST List user who
wished to remain anonymous. "Everything used to be so free on
LINGUIST, and there was never any pop-up to slow down your
browser. LINGUIST really cared. LINGUIST Cook Online just wants to
sell subscriptions and make the shareholders rich." She then went on
to add "I've made a $5 donation to the cause; I now it's not a lot but
it really makes a difference."

Keep reading this space for developments...


Help to restore LINGUIST to its former glory.

Donate Now:

For instructions on how to donate, see the last message in this issue
or visit:

Mail to author|Respond to list|Read more issues|LINGUIST home page|Top of issue

Message 2: Restaurant Review: The MaLingua Midnight Cafe

Date: 13 Apr 2003 01:53:50 -0000
From: linguist <>
Subject: Restaurant Review: The MaLingua Midnight Cafe

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:

Restaurant Review: The MaLingua Midnight Cafe
By N. Faux

Melodious strains of vowel harmony float through the room, blending
with soft chatter and occasional bursts of laughter. Gleaming
flourescent light reflects off the steaming mugs of tea and shining
heads of aging academicians. The burgeoning Malingua MidnightCafe has
garnered attention with its explosive beginnings, and the curious
mingle with the skeptical in the grand opening gala. Live music,
energetic staff, and an astounding collection of tantalizing dishes
combine to make a visit to the Cafe a guaranteed recursive experience.

One can hardly believe the newly formed jazz band, The Mesolects,
formed practically yesterday. Duo divas Dina Kapetangianni and Anita
Huang exhibit matched fortitions and lenitions with only a hint of
free variation. When asked, Dina said the success was due to the
musicians, Steven Moran, Heather Taylor, and Sarah Murray, whose
playing has caused attention to focus on the vocals. "Tonight is
Sarah's night on the drums," she said enthusiastically, "and she went
for it without even looking at the book! The only trouble is keeping
an eye on Steve, who keep sneaking out his laptop and attempting to

Maitre d' Richard John Harvey circulates through the room, exchanging
pleasantries with the guests, ensuring that minimal movement takes
place between the tables and parametric variation remains slight. In
the corner, moderators Anthony Aristar and Helen Aristar-Dry sulkily
nurse their drinks, brightening briefly when waitress Marie
Klopfenstein's disagreement with a customer faulting his production
rather than her comprehension becomes heated. Mr. Harvey glides to the
table and quickly controls the situation, faulting an unspecified
category and dispatching a creamy bowl of Asparagus Pistachio
Soup. The staff seem to be adjusting quickly to their new roles in the
Culinary Arts.

Smiles of satisfaction and sighs of appreciation are seen at every
table, for the true attraction of Midnight is the phenomenal food!
Under the direction of head chef Karolina Owczarzak, the staff
assembles masterpieces of culinary expertise guaranteed to delight
from onset to coda, from the juicy Huachinango a la Veracruzana to the
sinfully smooth Kahlua Creamy Fudge. The greatly anticipated first
volume of The LINGUIST List Cookbook highlights some of the most
popular recipes, and is proudly displayed on the counter for sale.

If the Midnight continues its maturational development pattern, it is
guaranteed to be a hotspot for fine food and frisky linguistic
gossip. The service from Renee Galvis was friendly and efficient, and
she even allowed me to collect developmental language data from her
son while I waited. The only flaw in the evening was the Red Wine
Cake, which had to be returned to the kitchen after finding evidence
in the sauce of chef Zhenwei Chen's knife-juggling practice. My visit
to Midnight rated four stars out of five, and definitely merits a
return visit.

To order your copy of The LINGUIST List Cookbook, visit:


Help the moderators in their fight - Donate today:

For instructions on how to donate, see the last message in this issue
or visit:

Get LINGUIST List back - Say No to LINGUIST Cook Online!

Mail to author|Respond to list|Read more issues|LINGUIST home page|Top of issue

Message 3: The Linguists' Place is in the Kitchen - MaLingua Exclusive Interview

Date: 13 Apr 2003 02:00:42 -0000
From: linguist <>
Subject: The Linguists' Place is in the Kitchen - MaLingua Exclusive Interview

~To read MaLingua online, and see the photos, visit:

The Linguists' Place Is in the Kitchen

An exclusive interview with Dr. P.C. Ival

MaLingua: Dr. Ival, thank you so much for agreeing to talk to us.

P.C. Ival: I decided the time has come to set some things straight and
deal with certain false rumors that have been circulating here and

M: First of all, how did you manage to fool the moderators for so many
years and have them thinking that you're just a nice, slightly
mentally challenged kitty cat?

I: Oh, it was easy. I knew where to strike. As all linguists, they are
big, trusting softies when it comes to helpless animals. It was enough
just to rub my head against their feet and they were done for. Often I
would sneak out and go on one of my business travels, or to my
penthouse apartment in Manhattan or my villa in Tuscany just to relax
for a few days, and those suckers would think I got lost somewhere and
would worry themselves sick. To prevent me from wandering away again
they would tie me to some heavy object so I wouldn't go far, but I was
too clever for that! I managed the trick of untying myself in three
seconds - even David Copperfield asked for a tutorial.

M: So what do you think about your replacement with Vincent the Fat Cat?

I: I think the LINGUIST Loyals are digging themselves a grave by
taking on that sad excuse for a cat. Nobody ever heard about him. The
only thing he's useful for is wiping the floor with his sagging

M: Is it true that the takeover of the LINGUIST List was not a hundred
percent honest deal?

P: The deal was as clean as my fur, I can assure you. You can't be
surprised that the student editors were more than willing to work for
me, now at least they've got food and prospects. To put it simply,
there is no profit in academic linguistics nowadays, and certainly not
in running the website for the linguistic community. The linguists'
place is in the kitchen; there at least they can put their brains to
something useful.


Help the moderators in their fight - Donate today:

For instructions on how to donate, see the last message in this issue
or visit:

Get LINGUIST List back - Say No to LINGUIST Cook Online!

Mail to author|Respond to list|Read more issues|LINGUIST home page|Top of issue

Message 4: How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2003 21:35:58 +0000
From: linguist <>
Subject: How to Donate and the LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

The LINGUIST List is under the umbrella of Eastern Michigan University
and as such can receive donations through the EMU Foundation, which is
a registered 501(c) Non Profit organization. Our Federal Tax number
is 38-6005986. These donations can be offset against your federal and
sometimes your state tax return (U.S. tax payers only). For more
information visit the IRS Web-Site, or contact your financial advisor.

Many companies also offer a gift matching scheme, such that they will
match any gift you make to a non-profit organization. Normally this
entails your contacting your human resources department and sending us
a form that the EMU Foundation fills in and returns to your employer.
This is generally a simple administrative procedure that doubles the
value of your gift to LINGUIST, without costing you an extra
penny. Please take a moment to check if your company operates such a


You can make a contribution by selecting one of three convenient
payment methods: secure credit card form, check, or wire transfer.
You can also PLEDGE your support to LINGUIST and pay later, i.e. send
in a check. Also, if you do not want to use a credit card, but wish to
pay in a currency other than US Dollars, you can donate via our
European bank account held in Switzerland. See below for details:


Please make checks payable to 'The LINGUIST List Editorial Support
Fund'. The address is:

The LINGUIST Editorial Support Fund
Department of English Language and Literature
612 Pray Harrold
Eastern Michigan University
MI, 48197

For details on how to transfer funds by wire, please contact LINGUIST
at the address Both an American and a
European bank account are available.

If you would like to make a pledge of support, please go to:

If you have already pledged to LINGUIST and would now like to pay by
credit card, please go to:

and select 'PAY PREVIOUS PLEDGE' as the Type of Payment from the 
dropdown list provided.


The LINGUIST List Hall of Fame

ANGELS ($1000 and over)

 Blackwell Linguist List Plus
 European Language Resources Association
 John Benjamins
 Natural Language Processing Group, Microsoft Research
MAINSTAYS ($100 to $1000)
 Adam Werle
 Akira Yamamoto
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 Billy Clark
 Brent de Chene
 Carlota Smith
 Carolyn Hartnett
 Catherine Walter
 Colin Phillips & Andrea Zukowski
 Dan Slobin
 David Lebeaux
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 Department of Linguistics, Rice University
 Department of Translation and Philology (Linguistics Section), Universitat Pompeu Fabra
 Dipika Mukherjee
 Donna Christian
 Dr. MJ Hardman
 E. Wayles Browne
 Earl M Herrick
 Elaine J. Francis, Alexander L. Francis
 Elizabeth D. Liddy
 Elizabeth Riddle
 Elliott Moreton
 elly van gelderen
 Ernest N. McCarus
 Esther Herrera Zendejas
 Georgetown Linguistics Student Association
 Gerardo Augusto Lorenzino
 Gregory D. S. Anderson
 Haihua Pan
 Hans Uszkoreit
 Heike Behrens
 Herbert Stahlke
 Irmengard Rauch and Gerald F. Carr
 James J.Jenkins
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 John Kingston
 John Lawler
 Julie Auger
 Karen Davis
 Karl Heinz Wagner
 Keren Rice
 Kevin R. Gregg
 Laura Wagner
 Laurel Watkins
 Linda Rashidi
 Linda Thornburg, Klaus Panther
 Linguistic Society of Hawai'i
 Linguistics Department - Cornell University
 Lisa Galvin
 Ljiljana Progovac
 Margaret Winters and Geoff Nathan
 Marianna Pool
 Mark Sawyer
 Martin Haspelmath
 Mary Harper
 Michael Hess
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 Michael Swan
 Monica Macaulay, Joe Salmons
 Natasha Warner
 Pam and Allen Munro
 Patrick Chew
 Paul Chapin
 Paul M. Postal
 Pauline Jacobson
 Price Caldwell
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 Robert s. Belvin
 Robin Thelwall
 Ronnie Wilbur, Purdue Linguistics Program
 Rudolph Troike
 Russell Tomlin
 Sally McConnell-Ginet
 Sarah Ross
 Satoshi Oku
 Shanley Allen
 Sharon Obeidallah
 Shirley Silver
 Stavroula Tsiplakou
 Terry Langendoen
 Theo Vennemann
 Tokyo University of Foreign Studies - English Department
 Tom Milligan
 University of Edinburgh- Department of Linguistics
 - Plus 8 anonymous donors

SUPPORTERS ($50 to $100)

 Akira Ishikawa
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 Charles Gribble
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 Department of Linguistics, University of Canterbury, New Zealand
 Diane Brentari
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 Graduate Students, Department of Linguistics, University of Toronto
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 Languages, Literatures, Linguistics at Syracuse University
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 Meyer, Wolfgang J.
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 Northeastern University Linguistics Program
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 Yi-ching Su
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 - Plus 16 anonymous donors
DONORS (Up to $50)

 A.-M. Olsen
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